"Guess what I learned today in graduate school? It is safe to assume, despite the fact that the person WROTE THE PAPER the class is reviewing 3 days ago, they have no idea what they are talking about. Not only that, but you are probably more informed than they are. Huffah, last minute googles!"
Yeah. My life is like that. Unfortunately that's pretty much all there is to say on the subject, unless I want to be mean (er). I dearly love the person but it was one of those "wow, I'm impressed you've survived this long in academia" type moments. If it were a student, I'd feel worse about it, but to be fair it was the professor.
What hit me at the bookstore? This one's more of an observation and less blog fodder:
"Holy smokes, they have a magazine for bloggers...what a waste of money."
If any of you use it, I apologize. Is it useful?
The little jewel that hit me last night, as I was blocking that woven scarf (not my best work, but it's done, and it's still pretty, if you can pretend you're not bothered by the little mistakes, still not showing it to you because I hate it and am giving it away to someone who won't) was as follows:
"HEY! I FINALLY IDENTIFIED THAT SMELL! DID YOU KNOW THAT (Insert name of relative's) HOUSE SMELLS JUST LIKE WET WOOL, EUCALAN, and COTTON?!"
Yeah it's smelled that way for 22 years, I'm pretty sure bringing it up now isn't going to help anything. That, and they're of an age where they're pretty set in their ways. It's probably the nature of their decorations that makes the house smell that way. But, as much as it totally icks me out, I still (mostly) love them (not just because I have to), and I'm not going to say anything (to them). I will probably share with my mother, who will then tease me about making her house smell like (insert name of smelly relatives house)'s place does.
Sam, if you're reading this, think grape sheep, and big bears. It totally smells like that doesn't it?
If you're not Sam (the odds are pretty good), and have ever Kool-aide dyed wool in the microwave? The house smells like that in the summer. Ah fond childhood memories.
It's very comforting to be able to have finally nailed the source of that particular....air freshener down. Things to take off the "I WANT" list when they try to foist their posessions off on you.
Let's have a little contest shall we?
Guess the actual source of the smell in my relative's house. Leave your guesses in the comments for this post. Whoever gets it right (or guesses the best, and by best I mean makes me laugh the hardest) get's a little needle-felted grape sheep that looks similar to this little dude:
You have until the 18th. As in it ends at 12AM the 17th. That way all you procrastinators can get your 10 cents in too. :) (No judgement, I'm getting my MS in procrastination)
Reaaadddyyyy? GO!
I bet this person has carpet wallpaper, like my great grandparents did. If it was humid or rainy out the house had a funny wet animal smell. Or maybe they have a bunch of wet sheep in the basement to make the house smell funky just to see if someone says something..
ReplyDeleteOoh! Carpet in the bathroom! Totally icky decorating choice. I don't think I could handle it in my house.
ReplyDeleteGoing along the lines of the first two commenters, I'm going to guess shag carpet!
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna guess the laundry room has to do with the smell. Just to be different. And because that seems like a place that wool and cotton and wash would all come together.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she handwashes cotton shirts with Eucalan and then forgets about them, leaving them in a wet pile on the carpeted bathroom floor for days. When they are half dry, the house sheep makes a bed out of them.
ReplyDeleteIt all started with the moldy moth balls and then slowly began to creep into the carpet. The ghosts that resided in the house thought it was the most wonderful smell they had ever experienced and began to mass produce it in the basement causing the smell to permanently reside in the house. It only began to slightly lessen after the ghosts were kicked out by the fairies who lived next door because they could not stand it anymore! The end.
ReplyDeleteYou're relatives are actually sheep in disguise.
ReplyDelete>>Flyingsmurf--HA!
ReplyDeleteOr perhaps this particular relative is the
type who decorates their lakehouse almost exclusively in knit. From piles of blankets, to ratty tea cozies, to bowls of adorable little wool acorns?
Do not even mention the knitted acorns. Those things were a giant pain in the butt!
ReplyDeleteGrape sheep was discovered when caitlin "experimented" with her yarn. She combined fresh spun wool with grape kool-aid then heated it for 5 minutes. The resulting stench was called purple grape sheep. I prefer odder de grape sheep. Never allow her to do this to you. It will permeate the wall of your microwave resulting in grape sheep during every usage. Your nostrils will burn from the nastiness for days, and Your abode forever tainted. I have discovered a new source of this smell (CAITLIN'S BUTT!!!!:D hahaha JK) Unfortunately, the dog gets dragged into this one. This was found out during her last bathing session. If you use citrus scented head and shoulders, towel/blow dry, then apply moms hemp lotion to sugar, you get odder de grape sheep. Poor, poor dog. Either that, or you can just spill water on the couch blanket upon which the dog lays. Luckily that can be immediately washed away to the fresh scent of tide. I bet lily's sock drawer would smell like this if moistened.... That's a thought I don't need. :P I tried to post the real answer but somebody, CAITLIN *cough cough* got all old lady on me. So here, redone version. I think my first half made this AMAZING, but its gone. Like dust in the wind!So :P :P :P :P :P!
ReplyDeleteP.S.
Luve you!!!! You shouldn't have been so fair with this one. Just know, I'm watching you! :D And im only an hour away, and i have a car. I will come enslave you to make me something awesome like the minion! :D Mwuahahahahaha!
And Elementaldeep, who ever you are, I shall have you know that our lake house does not smell of grape sheep. Caitlins experiment did not make it that far thank god. It has been deknitified and returned to its natural wood smelling state. However, the wool acorns *cough* TESTICLES *cough* do remain. Dear mom loves them to death. Sigh, some even returned home :[
ReplyDeletehahaha Sam, those acorns did look like testicles. Poor Sugar! Odder de grape sheep should be left to the sheep!
ReplyDeleteLet's see here...
ReplyDeleteSome will be realistic, some will be... fun...
Smell: Wet Wool, Eucalan, Cotton
Hints: No Pets
No Handknits (whatever that means...)
A/C is Water Based, Treated w/ Eucalyptus
Not Carpet
It 'icks' you out...
A) Perhaps some of the material from spinning becomes air-borne, and is taken into the A/C unit where it builds up, grows wet from condensation, and produces the eucalan smell because of the A/C treatment. This could be icky because of potential mold buildup, or just the general coating of fibers on the unit.
B) You and your family members are secretly killing people on the side for money. To hide the bodies, you take their flesh and clean it with eucalyptus and then spin it into fiber (50/50 blend with wool). This fiber is then used to make washcloths and other wares that are sold to Romania. Unfortunately, some of these are accidentally kept around and used to clean the A/C unit, which spreads the smell around because it becomes engrained in the unit's fan blades.
C) In efforts to fill the order from Santa (accidentally typed Satan first...) for Xmas, you have had to ramp up production of your goods. You stay up all the time and make little sheep and other stuffed characters from movies and the like. However, due to a Red Bull fueled frenzy and working rage, you overproduced by 12% of the order. Knowing Santa all too well, you had to hide the excess as you realize that Santa will coerce you out of the excess at no additional cost by guilting you into submission (Santa S&M). With your cupboards full of yarn and violent Russian porn, you had to shove 8,543 units into the A/C unit. Unfortunately, when Santa came he turned the unit on as he is fat and gets hot quite easily. To keep up appearances you said nothing, and the smell penetrated your house and settled. The same thing happened to your relative before they passed the torch onto you.